The post below was taken from the Mama Be Good blog: http://mamabegood.blogspot.com/2012/05/autism-and-saying-bad-words.html
A coworker recently shared this post and I found the message to be so powerful and easy to grasp. Something that will open our eyes and offer a new understanding.
In Brenda's words:
My friend Sunday was talking about her son saying some bad words. And it reminded me of my experiences with Jack. Sometimes having online friends is like being in a really big support group. We share stories. We get ideas. We laugh darkly. That's what this conversation was like with Sunday.
For a long time, Jack talked about scary things. If someone else had heard him talking, they wouldn't have thought "hey, that kid is scared." They would have thought "that kid's a psychopath." Or, at least, "that kid needs to stop talking like that."
Jack would say things that scared him. Like "I'm going to chop her arm off." Or "I'm going to shoot him with a gun." Or "I'm going to break his leg into pieces."
Other kids talk about "private" parts or curse words or mean things they've heard from others. Some kids even act on those ideas.
Here's what I learned from Jack: I need to look at the emotions behind the scary talk. Jack was saying these things because they scared him, not because he was trying to scare others. He was frightened when he first learned a person could hurt, or even kill, another person. He was scared when he heard that a body part could actually separate from one's body. He was worried it might happen to him. Or someone he loved.
He was scared.
And so he kept talking about it. And he talked about while laughing, so it was really deceptive. But that's how Jack acts when he's scared.
If I told him not to say those things, that he would be punished, I know how that would have gone. He would have been even more scared. Because if Mommy won't listen, it must be really bad. Those words must have real power.
So, first, I had to make sure I wasn't derailed by the words. That I didn't go off the trail into fears and doubts about my child, my child's future. I needed to be present, loving, and accepting for all my child's emotions, even the big scary ones.
So the next time Jack talked about chopping someone's arm off, I started wondering aloud about the emotions. Boy, it's really scary to think that your arm could actually come off your body. It must be scarier to think about someone shooting you and you'd be dead. I wonder which is scarier. I wonder which one hurts more.
"Yeah," he said quietly. His eyes got big. He listened carefully. I could see how frightened he was.
Hearing me talk about it meant he wasn't alone with the scary thoughts. It meant I understood how frightened he was. That I could help him explore the big feelings safely. That I could help him not be so overwhelmed by it.
Words have power. Emotions have even more power. Even if you make your child stop saying "bad" things, he may just go underground with it. He may feel isolated. He may feel overwhelmed by it.
And if he can't talk about it, what's he going to do with it?"
Monday, May 21, 2012
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Foster Parent Support Group - May 23rd
Foster Parent Support Group
Wednesday, May 23rd
6:00 - 8:00pm
Family Resource Center
817 N. Country Club, Mesa
Foster Care Support Group led by Licensed Professional Counselor, Deb Ralston
*Encouraging group environment
*Parents of all experience levels are encouraged to participate
* Coffee and Snacks will be provided
Support: sup•port \sə-ˈpȯrt\
verb: to hold up or serve as a foundation; to advocate, back, champion, endorse and lend assistance."
Come support and be supported by other foster parents.
Need a Sitter?
We've got you covered!
• Childcare is available for children 12 & under at a fee of $1 per child. Childcare space is limited.
• Reservations for childcare need to be made through Jennifer Dominguez:
jennifer.dominguez@aafcaz.org or 480.834.9424
Foster parenting is not a journey that should be taken alone.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Happy Mother's Day to our Foster Moms!
For My Foster Mother
A special thank you from your foster child
Feelings of love
Open and true
Sheltering arms
To all we might do.
Endlessly patient
Removing our fear
Moving us forward
Old worries can clear.
Thank you for caring
Hearts learn to trust
Each day we are with you
Remember we're blessed.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Foster Care Month
Arizona Adoption & Foster Care staff showing their support!
Order your sign for $20, $10 for AZAFAP members! Contact Mary Clark, beetleaz1@aol.com. Pick up locations are Valley wide, or order online by visiting the link below: https://fs3.formsite.com/AZAFAP/form30/secure_index.html
Monday, April 2, 2012
Saving Arizona's Children
For those of you who haven't heard, seen, or read, The Arizona Republic, azcentral.com and 12 News are shining a much needed light on Arizona's child welfare system in a yearlong series called Saving Arizona's Children. Check out the story archive and keep an eye out for future stories.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
We have such awesome families
Look at this amazing cake one of our families made and brought to our training class last night!! We are so grateful for the opportunity to meet such wonderful, committed, caring people. You guys are all amazing and we truly appreciate you and all you do for Arizona's children.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Birthday, Arizona!
Today our lovely state turns 100! To celebrate, I included some interesting trivia below. Who knew we had official state neckwear? Enjoy!
- Arizona is a right-to-work state. The law states no person shall be denied the opportunity to obtain or retain employment because of non-membership in a labor organization.
- The Arizona trout is found only in the Arizona.
- The saguaro cactus blossom is the official state flower. The white flower blooms on the tips of the saguaro cactus during May and June. The saguaro is the largest American cactus.
- Arizona leads the nation in copper production.
- Petrified wood is the official state fossil. Most petrified wood comes from the Petrified Forest in northeastern Arizona.
- The bola tie is the official state neckwear.
- The Palo verde is the official state tree. Its name means green stick and it blooms a brilliant yellow-gold in April or May.
- The cactus wren is the official state bird. It grows seven to eight inches long and likes to build nests in the protection of thorny desert plants like the arms of the giant saguaro cactus.
- Turquoise is the official state gemstone. The blue-green stone has a somewhat waxy surface and can be found throughout the state.
- Arizona is home of the Grand Canyon National Park.
- The ringtail is the official state mammal. The ringtail is a small fox-like animal about two and one-half feet long and is a shy, nocturnal creature.
- The amount of copper on the roof of the Capitol building is equivalent to 4,800,000 pennies.
- Arizona observes Mountain Standard Time on a year round basis. The one exception is the Navajo Nation, located in the northeast corner of the state, which observes the daylight savings time change.
- The battleship USS Arizona was named in honor of the state. It was commissioned in 1913 and launched in 1915 from the Brooklyn Navy Yard.
- World War II brought many military personnel to train at Luke and Thunderbird fields in Glendale.
- The Castilian and Burgundian flags of Spain, the Mexican flag, the Confederate flag, and the flag of the United States have all flown over the land area that has become Arizona.
- In 1926, the Southern Pacific Railroad connected Arizona with the eastern states.
- The geographic center of Arizona is 55 miles (89 kilometers) southeast of Prescott.
- Arizona's most abundant mineral is copper.
- Bisbee, located in Tombstone Canyon, is known as the Queen of the Copper Mines. During its mining history the town was the largest city between Saint Louis and San Francisco.
- The state's most popular natural wonders include the Grand Canyon, Havasu Canyon, Grand Canyon Caves, Lake Powell/Rainbow Bridge, Petrified Forest/Painted Desert, Monument Valley, Sunset Crater, Meteor Crater, Sedona Oak Creek Canyon, Salt River Canyon, Superstition Mountains, Picacho Peak State Park, Saguaro National Park, Chiricahua National Monument, and the Colorado River.
- The Arizona tree frog is the state official amphibian. The frog is actually between three-quarter to two inches long.
- Once a rowdy copper mining town, Jerome's population dwindled to as few as 50 people after the mines closed in 1953.
- The original London Bridge was shipped stone-by-stone and reconstructed in Lake Havasu City.
- The capital of the Navajo Reservation is Window Rock.
- The state's precipitation varies. At Flagstaff the annual average is 18.31 inches; Phoenix averages 7.64 inches; and Yuma's annual average is 3.27 inches.
- Crops include 2%; pastureland 57%; forests 24%; and other uses are 17% in land-use designation.
- The Arizona ridge-nosed rattlesnake is perhaps the most beautiful of all eleven species of rattlesnakes found in Arizona.
- The colors blue and gold are the official state colors.
- Located in Fountain Hills is a fountain believed to be the tallest in the world.
- Four Corners is noted as the spot in the United States where a person can stand in four states at the same time.
- The age of a saguaro cactus is determined by its height.
- The Apache trout is considered a threatened species under the federal Endangered Species Act.
- Arizona, among all the states, has the largest percentage of its land set aside and designated as Indian lands.
- Rising to a height of 12,643 feet, Mount Humphreys north of Flagstaff is the state's highest mountain.
- The Hopi Indians of Arizona are noted for growing their multicolored corn.
- Barry Goldwater, a famous public official, senator, and presidential candidate was born in Phoenix.
- In 1939 architect Frank Lloyd Wright's studio, Taliesin West, was built near Phoenix.
- Oraibi is the oldest Indian settlement in the United States. The Hopis Indians founded it.
- Grand Canyon's Flaming Gorge got its name for its blazing red and orange colored, twelve-hundred-foot-high walls.
- Grand Canyon's Disaster Falls was named to commemorate the site of a previous explorer's wreck.
- Grand Canyon's Marble Canyon got its name from its thousand-foot-thick seam of marble and for its walls eroded to a polished glass finish.
- Arizona became the 48th state on February 14, 1912.
- The world's largest solar telescope is located at Kitts Peak National Observatory in the city of Sells.
- At one time camels were used to transport goods across Arizona.
- Between the years 1692 and 1711 Father Eusebio Kino focused on area missionary work. During the time many grain and stock farms began.
- A person from Arizona is called an Arizonan.
- Phoenix originated in 1866 as a hay camp to supply Camp McDowell.
- The famous labor leader, Ceasar Estrada Chavez, was born in Yuma.
- Tombstone, Ruby, Gillette, and Gunsight are among the ghost towns scattered throughout the state.
For more fun and trivia, visit: www.50states.com/facts/arizona.htm
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